Husband: “Shall we try a different position tonight?”
Wife: “That’s a good idea…. you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and f*rt. ”
What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
What have men and floor tiles got in common?
If you lay them properly the first time, you can walk all over them for life.
If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?
Why do bald guy’s have holes in their pockets?
So they can run their fingers through their hair.
What do men and diapers have in common?
They are always on your a*s and full of sh*t.
I married Mister Right. I just didn’t know his first name was Always.
Losing a husband can be hard. In my case, it was damned near impossible.
Why do men call women birds?
Because of all the worms we pick up.
Hi,
We are trying to replace part of the bathroom floor tile( age of bathroom 13 years old).
So we measured the tile and it was 4 1/4 inch square. Now went to home depot and bought a white tile 4 1/4 inch square and when laying that , found out that it looks slightly bigger and they are not aligning with the old tiles that are already in place. It was looking so odd so we halted the proccess and are asking for help as we are first timers.
We measured the old tile again and found it was just a little shy of 4 1/4 inch…….a very small difference……..it is definately not 4 inches
please do help
what are we doing wrong……is there a tile measuring a little less that 4 1/4 inch and more than 4 inch?????
. I trampled over the fresh grass and flowers of new spring until I knelt down to the bleeding body of my best friend.
“Jay-Jayden?” she asked looking up at me and herself on the grass. It seemed she had just noticed what had happened.
“Hayley! What- what happened?” I asked wiping some of the blood off her freckle populated face. Her eyes looking with pain and agony into mine as each second passing. She really must have noticed what was happening. Hey big brown eyes started to water.
“I don’t know,” she said starting to cry, “I just, well, I remember talking to Amber by the tree, when we were walking to school. And then…”
I understood what she was saying. She must have gotten in a fight. Some friend Amber was to leave her friend getting beaten. Hayley probably had gotten unconscious during the fight.
I couldn’t ask anymore questions. I picked her up and she got on my back, as if it was a piggy-back ride. I remembered another time when we were kids, I did this to her in the garden of a yard she had. Her now flimsy head dangling with each beginning step I took to her safety.
I ran as fast as I could to the doors that lead us inside. I could feel the cold, gruesome texture of a friend’s blood dripping down my forehead. Hayley just lay there on my back still moaning.
We finally after what seemed like an eternity, reached the start of the administration corridor. The seemingly always polished tile floors reflected the image of Hayley and me running down it.
and others: I have no idea about a format if there is one to put if one day I submit it to an agency. How many words, per page, and pages should there be for the story?
and no bull please if you don;t like it then don;t answer
We are looking for pictures of kitchen islands with silestone counter top. Also has a double sink in the island as well.
The quote from our contractor includes an 8% contractor’s fee. This fee is applied to all aspects of the kitchen remodel-the demo, electric, etc. and it even includes the cabinets although the cabinets are ordered through a separate company and that company is responsible for installation. Just curious if it’s normal to pay this as we could save over $1,000 if the fee was removed for that portion of the project!