What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman? Harassment. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man? $3.99 a minute.
What’s a blonde’s favourite nursery rhyme?
Humpme Dumpme.
What’s it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down?
Marriage.
What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
What have women and floor tiles got in common?
If you lay them properly the first time, you can walk all over them for life.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.
What is a man’s view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
How do men sort their laundry?
Filthy” and “Filthy but Wearable”
What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.
Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
The guy who can have a cup of coffee in each hand and still carry a dozen donuts. Who is the most popular woman at the nudist colony?
The woman who ate the last donut.
What is the difference between a battery and a man?
A battery has a positive side.
What do men and floor tiles have in common?
if you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years!
Q. Why do men take showers instead of baths?
A. Peeing in the bath is disgusting.
Q. Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
A. Two mothers-in-law.
Q. What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Q. Why does the bride always wear white?
A. Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.
Q. What have men and floor tiles got in common?
A. If you lay them properly the first time, you can walk all over them for life.
Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A. A battery has a positive side.
I know they’re old but what the hell. I’m stuck here working with plenty of time to kill.
Leave a comment or joke of your own if like.
Two Mexicans, Jaun and Jimmy ( i know Jimmy isn’t a spanish name..but didn’t feel like thinking) are on a roof laying tile. The ladder suddenly feel down because of a gust of win that blew by.
“I have an idea,” said Jaun. “We’ll throw you down, and then you can pick up the ladder.”
“What, do you think im stupid? I have an idea. I’ll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down the beam of light.”
“What, do you think im stupid? You’ll just turn it off the flashlight when im halfway there.”
blonde and brunette…could of probaly fit in there…instead of mexicans…but oh well.
This one is pretty….simple…
Two Arabs were in the middle of the desert. When on of them gets somethign blown in his eye. His companion takes a look at his eye for him and says, “hold still, Abdul, it might be sand.”
A Mexican and a black man jumps off a building…who lands first?
The Mexican because the black man had to stop on the way down to spray paint the wall.